Reflections

I finished my seminary degree (M.Div.) at Gardner-Webb University in December, 2009. During the course of study there were several classes which required the writing of theological reflections. During my last semester...
I completed one unit of Level I Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) and it was during this time that these theological reflections became an outlet.

Theological reflection became an outlet for theological wrestling. There are things in this world that do not make sense. As we (American Christians) claim to know God, there are happenings in this world and in our lives that cause us to question the goodness of God. These things cause us to question the love of God. These things even cause us to question the existence of God. Think of the difference it would make if we were honest enough with ourselves and with our God to admit when these times occur. Theological wrestling helps to make it to the sunrise and to shout, "I will not let you go until you bless me" (Genesis 32).

Theological reflection became an outlet for theological development. A runner does not complete a marathon by the simple declaration that he/she is going to run a marathon. The marathon is just as much about the preparation for the race as it is about finishing the race. This preparation can be difficult and, at times, the runner wonders if all the work is worth the outcome. I think too often we fail to see our spiritual development in this light. We want to miss the preparation for the marathon and just want to walk through the finish line. When reading the biblical account of Jacob on the banks of the Jabbok river (Genesis 32, as mentioned above), we see that when the wrestling match is over, Jacob walks away with a limp. He is forever changed. His live is never again the same. When we engage in theological wrestling, theological development is going to take place. When theological development takes place, things might become painful and we will walk away with a theological "limp." But isn't that part of what development is about?

I have thought back about a lot of happenings in my life. There have been times when I have questioned everything that I believe. There have been times when not only was I at the end of my rope but had completely let go of the rope. Thank God for the love that does not let us go. These times of difficulty and questioning require energy from us. Energy that we did not know would be required of us. Energy that is, at times, more than we can give. This wrestling out with the Lord is what brings us to a place of healing, restoration, and peace.

Theological reflection became an outlet in these ways and in others. I treasure the discipline of theological reflection. However, since graduating (though graduation was just under five months ago) I have allowed this discipline to become dull as it has gone unused. My desire and intent is for this blog to become a place for theological reflections and interactions. Encounters with God always leave us changed.

Thanks for "listening".......

-ASR